Its been one of those weeks where I can feel a change within me happening. Have you ever felt that? Like something is wrestling inside of you, struggling, almost warring and doing battle to fight for a change within your person. That has been me. In fact it has become the story of my life!
I have come to recognize the feelings of change early on now. They use to terrify me. Almost like a, "what now, I thought I was over this or that?!" kind of feeling. I thought I was all fixed up and changed.
Then over time and journeying onwards, I began to embrace the change and stopped viewing the inner battle as something negative. Instead it became an awakening, a birth of something greater within me. What I began to realize is, that from within the dark, light can burst forth. From pain, intensity and struggle 'something beautiful this way comes'.
So the other day I could feel the familiar struggle and battle. Sometimes I know what it is connected to or why it is happening. Other times it is unclear to me what has triggered the shift but it is happening, it is real, and I need to try and tap into it, work with it, and pay attention to what I am suppose to discover. I have learned to check in with myself, to stop, listen, and watch. Then ask questions and see what I have gleaned. Sometimes it is an easy shift other times it is a process that happens gradually over time.
Either way when I surrender to it, a change, a shift takes place that closes wounds, maturates scars, and brings clarity. It changes my horizon and broadens my reach for life.
With this art piece my horizons were being broadened and stretched. I was discovering new ground within myself. I had sent out my latest weekly love letter to my subscribers and the struggle began, the issue of trust, the issue of my voice being important, will the truth I revealed in that letter become a regret? I reached out to three fabulous people in this moment and the discussions that ensued released the full explosion of an awakening that gave me that feeling of empowerment, validation, and a broader horizon within my core. Room to grow, stretch and reach for more.